ANYWAY, today I’ll brag a little about sister #1 (chronologically – they are not rated.. although… that could make for some pretty sweet birthday gifts… Mental note:  Revisit sisterly rating system.)

OH RIGHT.  Sister #1.  So, Mary Helen has been cooking for a while now, completed a community culinary program back in CT, took cooking classes in Beijing while she lived there and then started a blog to write about all things food.  Well, the good folks at ChefHangout.com took notice and included my sister as one of the chefs teaching online cooking classes on Google Hangouts!

The full scoop on ChefHangout can be found over here and Mary’s profile can be found over here.

But, WAIT!  There’s more!  As the site just launched, they’re busy little bees promoting the goodness.  Mary will be giving away some free passes to her classes!  Check out her neat little blog to see how to enter.  She ran a bunch of test classes in preparation for the unveil and let me tell you – they are FUN and what you make is delicious!  I participated in a veggie quinoa stir fry class as well as a vegetarian dumplings class (you learn to make your own wrappers!).  Big fun and it is neat to cook along with the instructor – especially because you can see what she is doing and ask questions!  Try accomplishing that with your Barefoot Contessa cookbook!  Psh.

I had been practicing Ashtanga at Yoga Space in Brookfield for quite some time and it was my sanctuary.  Pre-move, I had what could be called a…. tumultuous relationship.  (Some might say poisonous, if not pussyfooting around it.)  I was the sole provider – of food, money, support, love.  Anyway, while trying to hold that shipwreck together, I found strength in my body.  While practicing Ashtanga, my body became the fittest it’s ever been, really.  I was at my ideal weight, I was toned, I was strong.  I looked forward to that butt kicking session every Tuesday and Thursday – I always left feeling better than when I walked in.

Once the shipwreck sank and I found a place to call my own, I had to organize my priorities.  Yoga was one of the first expenses to go.  Classes kept getting more expensive and my studio was a bit of a drive, so I couldn’t even afford the gas to get me there anymore.  While this was out of necessity, I look back wishing I could have done something different.  Post shipwreck Sarah was … well… a wreck.  She could have done with some butt kicking yoga – and needed it more than ever before.  But, alas.  I was poor and there was simply no way to have it all.

So, years went by.  I’m sure my budget shifted and changed – especially after my living situation changed. (Ahem, enter the wondrous SteveKam.)  But, for some reason, yoga never made it back to the top of my priority list.  It had become something I thought of as a luxury, not a necessity.   I kept saying that I’d get back into it someday…. more years went by.

I’m not sure what came over me a week ago, but I found myself clicking on the website of a local chain of studios and before I could overthink it and come up with the usual excuses, I had purchased an unlimited monthly pass and was marking my calendar with class times.

Let me share with you my observations in the past week (in which I have taken 3 classes):

• I am rusty.  But, my instructors make me forget that within 5 minutes of walking through the door.  (Starting back with Hatha and Hatha Flow to get a solid refresher.)  One teacher told me she feels that we are all new students each day.  Good reminder.  It’s not a race.  It’s not a competition.  I am not being graded.  Who cares if my neighbor can twist into a pretzel with a smile on her face and I am barely bent in half?  That’s not what it’s about.  It is reminding me how badly I need a space in my life where I do not put this pressure on myself.

• That being said, I must acknowledge (honesty time!) that I can no longer even touch my toes.  But, I am getting closer with each class and feel taller, longer, looser by the day.  It is truly amazing how quickly you can regain your flexibility.  Again, I’m faced with the fact that this was something keeping me from going back to yoga – embarrassment.  Well, screw that.  We all have to start somewhere and some us have to start there a few times.

• Quiet time is something I do not allow myself anywhere else.  I can already feel how precious this time alone in my body and head is.  My mind doesn’t slow down too often – learning (re-learning) to make it do so is such a valuable life skill.

• I feel BETTER when I leave than when I walked through the door.  This is the big one.  My body feels better – and at the risk of sounding like a fruitcake, my soul feels better.  I feel like this must be what religious people get out of going to church.  (I know that sounds so ignorant, but I have always envied my friends who clearly gain so much from their varied congregations, while my experience with organized religion has always been uncomfortable.)  I feel grounded, balanced and clear after my practice.  All the problems I had when I arrived are still there, but I feel better equipped to tackle them.

So, yeah.  Impulsive website clicking was, in this instance, absolutely for the best.

Will I be able to keep up this pace?  3-4 classes a week is a lot of time to invest – I am sure there will come a time when this won’t work for me.  Will I be able to keep this in my budget?  It’s a financial investment and I’m sure there will come a time when other things (or small people) will need to take priority over an unlimited yoga pass.  But, I can’t put too much energy into those thoughts right now.

Right now, I am just enjoying this amazing feeling I have allowed myself.

The day.  Well, let me preface the day with what the days leading up to the day were like.  I took the week before the wedding off and while it helped, I was still a mess.  I had been working on this thing for 10 months – and when I say working on, I mean working on it every day for 10. months.  In my mind, this should have meant that the week before the day should be a freakin’ breeze.  I had earned that, right?  Not so much.  Here’s the thing…  I had significantly less to do in that week than a lot of DIY brides.  I had worked my tail off and it did show!  What I did not count on was my state of mind.  I was a wreck because I didn’t have enough to do.  I was a wreck because I had too much to do.  I didn’t know which end was up anymore and I became increasingly anxious by the day.  Things that the week before would have been greeted with a sigh and the necessary push to get the item checked off my list – were greeted with a deer in the headlights gaze and a 10 minute pause while my brain tried to process the words being spoken to me.   By the day before, this was my response to such complex tasks as making coffee or the loaded question, “What do you want for lunch?”.  I then proceeded to have a nervous breakdown about blocking out a shawl I had knit for myself (overachiever, anyone?) which led to a period of voluntary solitary confinement in the backyard.  This was immediately after I declared to my sister and two best friends that I “was not going” and informing them that they could “not make me”.  Happy times.

So, here’s the best part.  The day of?  The day of the day?  I woke up a little nervous, a little edgy.  My stomach hurt.  Packed up my gear, didn’t say much.  Arrived at the venue and…  sweet relief!  I don’t know how or why, but I went into this heads down mode of getting everything set up, decorations hung, tables set…  and I was happy.  I was calm.  I was getting excited.  By the time I sat down for makeup and hair, I was actually thrilled with the way things were coming together.  It looked like what I had in my head!  We had done it!  We had actually pulled this off!  I’m so grateful that my brain allowed me to actually enjoy that feeling.  Because, you know what?  It felt GOOD.  And that feeling led into what was a really incredible day and the official* beginning of our family.

Enough talk.  Here are some pretty pictures – courtesy of the amazing Nathan Russell Photography.  This slideshow is comprised of my favorites and has some pretty music if you’re inclined to turn up the volume.  :-)

The entire shebang can be found over  here (available until June 2012) – you can view by logging in with your name and email address.  It’s a long one!  About 600 images!  But worth the time to peruse.  We are so glad that on a tight budget, we chose the photos to be our splurge.   At the end of the day, it was totally worth cutting corners elsewhere to make room for an incredible photographer.  All my hard work on decor, favors, attire, colors, flowers?  Gone.   The photos?  We get to keep those.    Smartest move we made.

*I say “official” because after almost 5 years together – we were family already.  Fancy piece of paper or not.  Just sayin’.

2011 was the year from Hell.  Now, look – I get it.  I got married in 2011 and that is a magical, special thing.  Our wedding (which maybe I will post about someday, right?) was a really amazing day and we loved the heck out of it.  It was incredible to have so many people we adore  in one place and all in our  new hometown.  It was important that SteveKam and I made our promises to each other OUT LOUD and in front of all those people.  It matters.  It’s important.  It was great.

But, let’s face it.  One day a year does not make.  We battled with our budget as we tried to recover from our big move (totally worth it though , of course), I found myself becoming more concerned about details than about calling my friends back on the telephone, we grumped at those we loved and grumped at each other.

And then there was Kyra.

Why the universe would choose that time to reclaim the sweetest soul whom had ever been a part of my life was a question I asked (and still ask) on pretty much a daily basis.  She was my best friend.  I lost her.  It hurt.  It still hurts.

The circumstances and timing surrounding her passing made the bulk of 2011 very painful, to be honest.  If I am being very honest, I would tell you that it made it incredibly difficult to continue planning a big, happy day meant to be filled with joy and love.  I really struggled.

The thing of it is… I went into kind of a zombie mode during that post-Kyra time.  I just kept going.  I had no choice.  I just wanted to get through it.  After the wedding, I woke up a little… long enough to fall in love with a sweet little pup and welcome her into our family…. but before I knew it, it was time to think about holidays and cope with the fact that my parents were moving overseas (that’s another post, too).  One morning I woke up … and would you look at that?  It was January 1.

So, I’m left here – feeling like my rigid little limbs are unfurling from the (cannon)ball I had tucked myself into for nigh on 10 months.  My eyes are readjusting to the light.   My ass — my big post wedding ass — is all pins and needles.

I greet 2012 with a sigh.  I’m so glad to have an entire year ahead of me.  I’m not usually one to get into making resolutions, but I find myself kind of excited to promise new things to myself.  After spending the better part of one year planning an event and tending to a sick loved one… yeah, I’d like to promise myself to take yoga again.  And hey!  I’m going to lose that last bit of weight I never got around to, too.  And while I’m at it, why not work on building something monetary out of all that damn work I did last year?  I am also promising myself to get out and about more this year – because you know what?  Now I have the time.

I’m starting to live up to one promise already by writing this post.  I am promising to be more honest with myself.  I am promising to face my fears and my insecurities.  I am promising to work on them.  I am promising (oh God, I am reeeeeeally trying to promise) to be kinder to myself from now on.  It is okay to be imperfect – it is okay to not be the best at every single thing you do every single day.  I think I need to write this stuff down to remind myself that it is true (or at least it is true to 98.752% of the world. I am part of that 2.248% still trying to grasp such easy concepts).

So, here’s to Two Thousand Twelve.  May it be gentle.

My canine companion, Kyra, has been suffering from a serious arthritis affliction for some time.  In the past couple of months, her condition worsened to the point where – no matter the medication she was given – she could no longer walk.  :-(

At the age of 14 (whoa! how did that happen? wasn’t she just a puppy a couple years ago?), we were faced with a tough decision.  After consulting with the vet and talking it over (and over and over), SteveKam and I made a choice that surprised more than a few.  The thing is, Kyra Dog _is_ 14 years old… but we’ve been told many times that she does not look or act her age.  Her health (besides the arthritis in her hips) is perfect.  It’s pretty unusual for a dog of her age.  Weighing all the information, we decided to let the vet go ahead and perform surgery on her hip to remove part of the bone to eliminate the pain.

So, here we are almost 2 weeks after the operation and she’s on the (long) road to recovery.  The first few days were absolutely the worst – for all of us!  But, she’s starting to show signs of improvement and has never lost that stubborn, willful spirit that we knew would carry her through all this.  This is one tough little dog.

To aid her rehabilitation, we’re taking her to doggie physical therapy twice a week and doing exercises at home a couple times a day.  (And, by the way, her therapist is AWESOME!)  Kyra’s favorite PT activity?  The tank.  :-)  It’s an underwater treadmill and the most key piece of her therapy.

Wanna see?

So, that’s that.  She can’t yet walk on her own or get out of her bed without help, so we use a sling to help her get around.  Her meds make her have to pee every 1-2 hours, so we take turns sleeping on the floor with her every night so she can get outside when she needs to.  She has good days and bad days.  She has tail wagging happy moments – and every now and then gets nippy when we get too close to a sore spot.  We’re exhausted and sleep deprived, but every time she shows a sign of improvement, all that stuff fades into the background.

Something has occurred to me a number of times over the past couple of weeks.  In her 14 years on this planet – our 14 years together – this dog has helped me through the most difficult times of my life.  She has nursed broken hearts, kissed away tears, slept at my side whenever I needed it – without ever being told or asked.  She is my most loyal companion and has devoted her life to that role.

What has occurred to me now is that it’s finally my turn.  And I’m not going to fail her.  :-)

A slew of depression era reproduction fabrics! My Mom and I are collaborating on some patchwork pieces for decorating the tables at the wedding… Good thing we still have 5 months to go. This is what you would call a labor intensive project.

So, let’s catch up.  Since arriving in town, we celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s, welcomed a sister and brother-in-law to Austin, booked our wedding venue, introduced ourselves to various wonders including the Alamo Drafthouse and dollar Pearls, cheered on another sister as she ran a half marathon, sent out our Save the Date cards, bought a pair of cowboy boots, got ice cream from Pee Wee Herman and HAVE CONSUMED MORE DELICIOUS ITEMS THAN EVER BEFORE IN OUR PREVIOUSLY INSIGNIFICANT EATING CAREERS.

Need some eye candy?

Done and done:

Now that we’ve gotten the basics covered, I feel I can actually show my face here again on a regular basis.  :-)

xoxo.

We’re packing it up and heading south to Austin, TX to live it up with my sister Heather – and eventually my sister Mary and her hubby!  (They’re planning their move for very early 2011.)

Our target move date is 11/15, so it is coming up quick and we are busy little bees here at Casa del Kam.  Moving is always a great opportunity to slim down – I love to lighten up when packing and, as always, I’m starting in the craft room.  :-)  This is my warm up to the giant tag sale we’ll be holding in October…

So, I’ll start with the yarn stash!  Any takers?  A couple of notes:

• I live in a smoke free home which I share with my ridiculously adorable pets.  I have kept all of my yarn in plastic tubs in my pet-free craft room.  I’ve gone to some length to keep all my craft supplies pet hair free, but I do live with critters so full disclosure, people!
• I’ll ship everything out USPS First Class (cheapy cheapersons!) unless you prefer a different method.  Let me know what you’re interested in and I’ll calculate the postage so you won’t have to overpay.

Details and prices are listed under the gallery below.  Selling multiple skeins together – would prefer not to split any of these up.  (I need to get rid of all of this!)  :-)

If you’re interested or have any questions, email me at sarahjaynmcnally@gmail.com.  Yay yarn!

Artfibers Tesla

• 446 yard cone (equivalent to over five 83 yard skeins)
• white/silver (cotton/stainless steel)
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/artfibers-tesla
• $40 plus shipping (originally $20 per 83 yard skein)

Lion Brand Cotton Ease (yellow)

• 3 skeins
• color:  maize (186) / lot:  35311
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/lion-brand-cotton-ease
• $6 plus shipping

Lion Brand Cotton Ease (pink)

• 3 skeins
• color:  berry (112) / lot:  36911A
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/lion-brand-cotton-ease
• $6 plus shipping

Rowan Kidsilk Haze SOLD!

• 2 skeins
• color:  582 / lot:  633
• missing label on one skein
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/rowan-kidsilk-haze
• $10 plus shipping

Rowan Kidsilk Spray

• 3 skeins
• color:  576 / lot:  4565
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/rowan-kidsilk-spray
• $15 plus shipping

Patons Grace

• 6 skeins
• color:  ruby (60409) / lot:  204
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/patons-grace
• $10 plus shipping

Jagger Spun Highland Heather 3/8 SOLD!

Classic Elite Bamboo Print

• 6 skeins
• color:  4996 / lot:  01661
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/classic-elite-bam-boo-print
• $18 plus shipping

Crystal Palace Light Pipe

• 2 skeins
• color:  rainbow (A3324) / lot:  921002H23
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/crystal-palace-light-pipe
• $5 plus shipping

Knit Picks Alpaca Cloud (dusty purple) SOLD!

• 2 skeins
• color:  Iris (C872) / lot:  6656
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/knit-picks-alpaca-cloud
• $5 plus shipping

Knit Picks Alpaca Cloud (natural) SOLD!

• 1 skein
• color:  Sunlight (CA03) / lot:  7551
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/knit-picks-alpaca-cloud
• $3 plus shipping

Knit Picks Felici

• 1 skein
• color:  pebble / lot:  24645
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/knit-picks-felici
• $2 plus shipping

Knit Picks Sock Garden

• 2 skeins
• color:  morning glory / lot:  57590
• http://www.ravelry.com/yarns/library/knit-picks-sock-garden
• one skein has been re-wound, missing label from one skein
• $5 plus shipping

Us, originally uploaded by scissorina.

On Saturday, we paid a visit to my Great Aunt Nan in Port Jefferson, NY. Spent the day with Aunt Nan, SteveKam, Mary Helen and Scott celebrating the engagement – and a belated welcome home for MH and Scott!

We went to the town beach after lunch. Scott, SteveKam and I hung on the rocky shore while Aunt Nan and MH took a dip.

It was a spectacular afternoon.

More pics over here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scissorina/sets/72157624617021389/

SteveKam and I have been slowly piecing together the basic theme of our wedding and, while our work is cut out for us, we are on our way.

When my darling betrothed first asked me, “So, what’s our theme?  Do we have one?”.  I paused and thoughtfully responded, “All You Need is Love by The Beatles explodes into a wedding.”

What?  Too abstract?  Hey, man – this is the way all my ideas begin… crazy sounding and vague.  As it starts to fill out, it will all make sense.  Promise.  In the meantime, we have sat down and discussed what we do know that we want so far….

• We know we want bright colors, handmade decor (lots of paper and fabric) and a lot of little surprises for our guests.

• We want hand picked playlists and a dance routine or two. (Okay, that last one is totally what I want.  SteveKam just doesn’t have much of a say about it.)

• We want to incorporate photography and art (with an interactive aspect!) and have a family feel to the seating (think 2 or 3 long tables rather than a whole bunch of round ones…).

• Overall, we want the day to sing Austin and scream Sarah & SteveKam.  (Luckily for us, Austin’s city motto is “Keep Austin Weird”.  Totally fitting.)

As previously stated, it’s a work in progress.  But, the foundation is now in place.  On to the details!

To that end, my amazingly wonderful Someday Husband has purchased me a ginormous cork board for the craft room to serve as my inspiration board.  It shall be stuck upon often and with great might!

What’s up there so far?  I’m printing out a few pics of some dress options…  I’m sure that topic’s worthy of it’s own post, but here’s a teaser of a few dresses I heart so far – these are definitely  making it to the inspiration board. 

More to come!